Bit of a personal reflective piece today.
Blown out the cobwebs today and had a wonderful little walk along our beautiful coast as we say ta-ra to a bizarre year of high contrast for me. A 'normal' late winter back in the distant days of February, but with the dark clouds of lockdown on the horizon, the sun came out and we had one of the clearest spring skies I can remember. Fresh air coupled with a lot of worry for my personal safety and that of Linda and working from home created a tension and concern I had not really experienced before. My mental health suffered because I darent go to the supermarket and in any case shelves of essentials were bare and frankly, we were running out of food and couldn't get a delivery. We certainly lost lot of weight! We discovered however that kindness was still around when local traders took the initiative and started doing deliveries so we abandoned the big supermarkets and bought local.
Our relationship went from strength to strength frankly as we do talk about things and our feelings and we supported each other in what I still think were horrific and unprecedented times. Family and friends were missed badly (and still are) but thank goodness for phone, text and video messaging, and lucky for me, I still had a job.
Working in the garden and our spiritual life were a blessed relief to be honest but we were very much looking to our future in what we were hoping would be a 'normal world' again. Our marriage was postponed in April because these type of services were shutting down which was a blow, not that we were planning any sort of expensive ceremony, just us two and two dear friends as witnesses with a cafe meal afterward! Then came the big decision. I needed to retire. I felt that I was coming to the point where I didn't want to let my job down by losing interest or motivation which was looming no doubt, working from home had its advantages, but lots of professional disadvantages too; I couldn't face my standards falling. In order to retire, we needed to downsize to be able to afford to live independently. Decorating started and the house was put up for sale and we were looking at our favourite spots to retire to. Staying local was out of the question, too expensive, but we wanted a change in any case, new life, new start, fresh ideas. It meant leaving familiarity, family, friends, and this was something I had never done before. Was it the right decision? I felt this joint decision was and had the support of Linda and Spirit to move onward and upward to new chapters in our lives.
Hornsea, which is where we would have liked to have gone was a disappointment in what was available and cost. We had to spread our search wider and one day Linda suggested we look at Bridlington. Never even thought of this area, I didn't know it well, but there were lots of affordable housing, lots to occupy ourselves with and only an hour away from family and friends in West Hull and Hessle. We found our bungalow and on 26th August we were married in Scarborough at the register office, just four of us present - we never told anyone we were doing it, and had our reception for four at the Princess Cafe who treated us royally.
We signed up for the house and moved in November and with that security, I put my ticket in. Nearly 45 years with the same job, it was going to be a wrench to leave that security of employment and familiarity, the wonderful people would be missed of course, but you know what, the time had come for moving on.
So we find ourselves looking back at a year of personal contrast, negatives certainly, but outweighed by the positives and the opportunity to make the best of these extraordinary times ahead.
So, as the last rays of sun fall upon us this year, I wish absolutely everyone we know a safe, happy and prosperous New Year, please look for the positives and advantages, be kind to each other and know, whatever the circumstances we are always here for you.
Lot and lots and lorry loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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